Stef’s Crazy Life

The (mis)adventures of me. Kids, kin, cars, life, love, pain and the whole damn thing! (any questions?)

Mixed feelings… April 30, 2008

This is the day that I’ve been waiting for for the last three weeks.

Now that it’s here, I’m feeling kinda wistful about it all.

The end of the semester. Knowing I won’t be back at Rose in August.

But, this is what I’ve worked for since January of 07. The end of the second part of the three part plan. I’m excited to be moving on to UCO, and the challenges that going there will have for me, but sad that I may never see some of the people I’ve met at Rose again.

So, Larry, this is why I was in a bad mood today. I’m feeling all emotional about the end and the beginning.

Come August, it’s off to a whole new experience.

Larry told me once that what I’m scared of is the unknown. Yeah, that’s me now. I know that UCO exists and what the campus has to offer. But the actual attending classes is the big unknown.

Bring it on!

At least I don’t have to move to WYOMING to do this.

That’s all from where I sit.

–MorelaterZ–

 

Show me something real April 29, 2008

How hard is it to be honest with people and not jerk them around or discount their feelings?

Why can’t some people just be themselves and not someone else?

Why can’t anyone be real anymore?

I try to be as real as I can. I tell people that when they look at me, what they see is what they get. I have no agenda, I don’t need to dupe anyone into being my friend. I have feelings and emotions just like you do. If you are brave enough, I dare you to be real. Be yourself. Love yourself.

I take life as it comes. I try not to live in the past. Chaz talks about living “in the moment” a lot. I’ve found that is true, that you have to live for right now, and I knew that long before I knew Chaz existed.

I live my life like no one else. No one else would dare!

Are you real?

That’s all from where I sit.

–MorelaterZ–

 

Let the chaos begin! April 28, 2008

Data sheets.

Tests.

Photos.

Finals.

Graduation.

ARRRRRGH! (picture Stef pulling out hair)

I’m going to be a stark raving lunatic by the time this week is over! I need a vacation!

Fortunately, Chaz has a plan for that. Right after finals. He just told me that it’s going to be “out of town”. Sometime after my graduation and before Marc’s on May 22nd.

Right now, I could take a nap.

Maybe after I get out of the Language Lab. Wednesday is my last day.

*sniff*

In other news, I did pick up my cap and gown today. It’s kind of a grey color. I’ll post pics after graduation.

That’s all from where I sit.

–MorelaterZ–

 

 

 

A new confidence April 27, 2008

In less than a week, I’ll have an Associate’s degree.

I am so excited, I can’t stand it!

That gives me so much confidence in myself (not that I didn’t have any before, mind you). I set a goal in 2004… and on Friday, phase two of that goal will be completed. Only one more phase to go, and that will take a while. The results of that third phase will all be worth it in the end.

The whole thing scares me to death, and excites the hell out me all at the same time.

It is all a work in progress.

That’s all from where I sit.

–MorelaterZ–

 

Back to as normal as possible April 24, 2008

Chaz seems to have shaken the infection that has kept him down for the last week. This morning he came to pick me up for school and seemed like his old self.

School is winding down now. Monday I can pick up my cap and gown for graduation a week from Friday (May 2), and everythings on track to get done when it’s supposed to get done. If I play my cards right, I won’t have to come in at all during finals week.

That means I have to pound the pavement to find another job, since workstudy ends on the 30th. I have a couple of prospects, and I may need Chaz’s help getting there.

I need to get a job so I can get a car. Chaz has been very nice and giving me rides everywhere (and one time when he let me borrow his car), but I’m sure after while, he’s going to get tired of it. I can’t see him driving me to classes at UCO everyday.

And speaking of UCO, I think I’ll go up on Friday, after my Oceanography quiz, and register for classes. I also need to see if I can get a workstudy job there. Something where I’ll actually be doing something. Maybe I can work for the athletic department washing uniforms or something…

And the Library sounds good too.

Right now, I have to get back to finishing up this Data Sheet for Oceanography that’s due next week.

That’s all from where I sit.

–MorelaterZ–

 

Dude– what are you on and can I have some? April 23, 2008

Yesterday was the reception for the folks who had their works included in Pegasus, and all in all, it was very nice. All three of my entries are within the first 30 pages of this 85 page journal. A lot of my friends from both my photography classes had works included, so we made a big to-do about signing each others books (since we all got a free copy).

Fortunately, there was food, because by the time I got there, I was famished! I stayed maybe a little over an hour, then called Chaz to come pick me up.

I had asked him if he wanted to come with me, and he declined. Said something about feeling out of place amongst my college friends.

Whatever.

When he did come by to pick me up, I showed him my copy of Pegasus, and where my poems were, and he proceeded to read one of them with great, um… sarcasm is the only thing I can think of. That kinda ticked me off a bit, because I thought it was a good poem, and told him so. He thought it was good, too, and apologized for making fun of it.

On the way to my apartment, he told me he called this female friend of his that’s he’s known for 40 and some years to come over and change the dressing on the wound (a spider bite) that had gotten infected because he couldn’t see it well enough to do it himself. She apparently told him it would cost him a six pack of beer. Okay, no problem.

When she came over, she was on her way to getting plastered. She changed the dressing, claimed her six pack, they talked a bit, then she left.

We pull up to my apartment, and we were talking about nothing in particular when Chaz notices my “loud music” neighbor come out of his apartment. Chaz made some snarky comment, and that’s when I asked him what he was on, and could I have some. Chaz said he’d been feeling silly all day, then decided that I needed earplugs to keep out the noise the neighbors make so I can get some sleep.

So off we go to Wal*Mart, and I find them right away in the sporting goods section. Chaz is still making snarky comments about anything and everything. While we were paying for them, he says he wanted to go over to Whataburger on Reno, but he needed to get some cash first.

Back in the car, we head off to Chaz’s bank to get cash out of the ATM, then go over to Whataburger.

I got a single patty burger with cheese, onions and lettuce. The last time we went to Whataburger, right after we met, I got more than I could handle, so I decided to take it easy this time.

It seems that Chaz wouldn’t shut up, and had opinions about EVERYTHING!!!!! And he wasn’t exactly quiet about it. It could be the anitbiotics he’s taking for the infection that’s causing him to act so bizarre, but his behavior was starting to annoy me.

Not that I’m perfectly behaved by any stretch of the imagination… but still.

After Whataburger, Chaz takes me back to my apartment and carries my stuff inside after I unlocked the door. We chit chat for a few, then he says that he’ll pick me up the following morning (today) at 10:15am.

Then he left.

This morning, we were having a discussion in the car in front of Rose and it got a bit heated. We were talking about current events and he took exception to something I said and started yelling at me. I told him that I didn’t appreciate being yelled at and that he could express his opinion without yelling at me. He apologized, stated his point, then things calmed down. He got my stuff out of the back of the car and told me he hoped I had a nice day. Then he got back in the driver’s seat and stayed long enough to watch me walk away.

(We hate to see her go but love to watch her leave… “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk” by Trace Adkins… that’s what that reminds me of LOL).

Wonder what he’ll be like tonight when he picks me up?

That’s all from where I sit.

–MorelaterZ–

 

Things are quiet… I might get something done! April 22, 2008

The end of the semester is next week, then graduation and the great beyond (aka UCO). At least things in my life have calmed down enough so that I can actually get some stuff done.

The reason why things have slowed down: Chaz is not feeling well. Okay, not the only reason, but it helps. He feels well enough to take me to and pick me up from school, but he’s under doctor’s orders to not exert himself too much until the infection he has clears up completely.

The big thing will be getting my Oceanography paper done by Wednesday next week. I’ve rewritten it twice now as I’ve found more information to include. I now know more about Indonesia than I ever wanted to know.

I somehow have to get a couple more Photography things done, and the last chapter of Spanish needs to be completed… all by April 30th! I’m really going to need a vacation when this is over!

Yesterday, I challenged someone to “bring it on!!!” Time will tell if they will. I’ll believe it when they show up at my front door.

That’s all from where I sit.

–MorelaterZ–

 

What I’m not… April 21, 2008

what stef is not

But Lord, sometimes I sure feel like I am.

That’s all from where I sit.

–MorelaterZ–

 

I’m so confused… April 20, 2008

I don’t like being in this position… the one with “STUPID” written on her forehead.

Why did he feel he had to lie about something so simple? Like it mattered what the number of years on this planet he had racked up.

So? It never mattered anyway. Why couldn’t he see that?

That’s all from where I sit.

–MorelaterZ–

 

What are they doing in Heaven today? April 19, 2008

Thirteen years ago today, at this time of day (9:02am CT), a truck bomb went off at the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City. One hundred sixty eight people, including 19 children, were killed in the blast.

Until the destruction of the World Trade Center towers on September 11, 2001, the Oklahoma City Bombing was the worst act of terrorism on American soil. Timothy McVeigh was tried, convicted and executed for his part in the bombing. Terry Nichols is serving a life sentence for the same crime.

To the 168: you will never be forgotten.
The Survivor Tree at the Oklahoma City National Memorial
 

That’s all from where I sit.

–MorelaterZ–