Stages of the flu (you DON’T want to get the flu this year, trust me!)

I have identified the three stages of the current flu epidemic.

The first is the PRE-FLU: You generally feel like crap, nothing makes sense, and you don’t know why you’re feeling so bad because you’re pretty sure you’re not sick.

Next is the ACTUAL FLU: One day about two weeks or so of feeling like crap, you start to feel pretty darn good. You go about your business as usual, until one day you feel like you’ve been hit by a Mack truck, then backed over by the same. This stage lasts about 5 to 7 days. You WILL miss work, school, and other outside activities because you really aren’t giving a shit by this time.

Finally, there’s the POST-FLU: You feel well enough now to resume your regularly scheduled life… except for the annoying as hell cough you’ve seemed to have developed. I don’t know how long this lasts, because I’m still going thru this stage, though I’ve been told that two weeks is a conservative estimate.

The above is based on my own and others experience, and is mixed with liberal doses of sarcasm and humor. If you really are sick, I strongly suggest you hie yourself to your doctor and get checked out.

Some things that will make having the flu easier:

  • Stay hydrated.
  • If you are tired, sleep. Sleep is good.
  • Take all medicines, whether over the counter or prescription, according to the directions on the label or your doctor’s instructions.
  • Have others do for you. In other words– delegate.
  • Once you start feeling better, take an extra day to make sure that you really are well. You don’t want to pass this on to others who haven’t yet had the flu.

Above all, listen to your doctor! If he/she says you’re too ill to go to work or school, then stay home!

I might also suggest getting the flu shot in the fall, especially if you are young, have a chronic illness, or are elderly.

I’m not a doctor, obviously, so consult with your physician about ANY illness.

That’s all from where I sit.



5 thoughts on “Stages of the flu (you DON’T want to get the flu this year, trust me!)

  1. i wished more people in the country would have found this you know, the ill people that are homeless especially the new veterans out of the military don’t help this pandemic.i was in th eva hospital and believe me, this flu stays with people for months and months a o f now and yes,i even saw the eyes of death of one 42 year old veteran as he was being prepared for the morgue,so yes, this is a killer flu and no, the media will neve rtouch this story as theu may have orders from the government to never mention the words; pandemic or economic depression

  2. Mack truck? I was thinking more along the lines of a tank or something. Hmm…

    This was dead on, and I actually got the flu from a flu shot! I was walking through New York and it just hit me that I suddently felt awful. While trying to find my way home in a haze of chills, aches, and a headache, I couldn’t imagine how I got the flu. I haven’t gotten the flu in I don’t know HOW long.

    It’s been almost a week, and I was finally looking up just how long this sucker lasts. I’m fearing that the weekend won’t be enough time to fully recover before I go back to work.

    Thanks for your great ideas and sorry you had the flu as well. It sure does stink!!! I’m insanely healthy and NEVER get sick, so you can imagine how many times I’m going to get the vaccine again…

  3. you are exactly right! this is my second rout ith the flu this year. i got in in february and it was horrible. i had a 105 fever and was a vat of mucus. i didnt get the flu shot, so i have it again now with a fever of 103, and i feel your pain, both of you : / i have been taking nasonex and nyquil before i go to bed and take ibprofen and advil(not togther), (consult your doctor before trying this though). also i find fudge pops and chicken noodle soup feel really nice on my throat. i hope we all feel better soon!

  4. fuck its 2012 and i have no idea what the flu is doing to me. i feel like shit (aaa-chooo!) (cough cough) *fart

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