Up late… and got a lot on my mind

I just don’t know how to release all that I’m feeling and wanting to say.

You may have noticed that the previous post is now password protected. If you want to read it, email me and I’ll send you the password.

I did this because after it got a fair amount of hits, I realized that it was exactly what I wrote about: a middle aged woman whining. So instead of deleting it all together, I password protected it.

Back to what I was saying before. I have a lot I want to say, but not sure how, or even if I should say it, lest it sounds like I’m whining. My brain is so full of stuff that I want to write about, that I don’t know how to get it all out of me.

I really hate feeling like this, because it’s so counterproductive. I’ve got a full courseload at school, I certainly don’t need my emotions about things I can’t really control get in the way.

I have to keep pushing forward, thinking positive, and let the chips fall where they may. I’ve got so much I’m thankful for, why mess those things up with my insecurities? And, yes, I do feel insecure about certain things every once in a great while. Maybe it’s the fact that my 45th birthday is coming up, and I’m at a crossroads of some kind.

I’m going to try (<—operative word here) to be more on message about the positive things in life, and not so much (if at all) about the negative things I can’t control.

Sometimes I just want someone to tell me to shut the hell up.

I’m going back to bed now.

That’s all from where I sit.



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