The past does come back to bite you on the ass

And I’m living proof.

Not that I didn’t enjoy the phone call from an old friend and admirer from years ago, because I did. It just made me feel totally insecure about my relationships with men (who are not related to me by blood or marriage).

I asked Larry a couple weeks ago if he thought I was worthy of a man of my own…one I didn’t have to share with someone else. I think he said I was. There is someone that I am more than a little interested in, but as all things in my life go, that person is in a relationship.

Why is it that when I find someone I like, and they like me, they have to be a) married, b) in a relationship, or c) hung up on a dead spouse?

Is there even a man out there for me who isn’t any of the above? One of my own? I’m beginning to think not.

I’m usually very secure in who I am, but this absolutely kills me.

Am I that awful a person, that undesirable that I have to be relagated to the shadows? No one likes to admit they like the fat girl.

Dammit Dusty! Damn you to hell and back!

That’s all from where I sit.



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