Usually I’m a strong person, but today

I’m… not.

I wish I could just find out what’s wrong with me and get it all over with. Sleep is always on my mind, and if I sit in a nice comfy chair in the UC, I will fall asleep.

But my 1pm class was cancelled, and I have to pick up video equipment at 4pm today, to shoot footage for an assignment that’s due Thursday (10/8).

I just don’t have the energy to do any of that. Not today.

I’m just so…freakin’…tired!

This is not normal for me. It really isn’t. Usually I can bounce back from being tired pretty easily, but I’ve already almost passed out twice today, sat down in a comfy chair and almost fell asleep, and I’m not doing too well on the keeping my head where it’s supposed to be (on schoolwork). Every day, it seems, it gets a little worse. By Friday I may be to exhausted to get out of bed. That was hard enough this morning. I felt like an old car (and I’ve owned my share of them so I can speak to this).

I feel physically weakened. Like something has just zapped all my energy. Last night I was talking to Daniel on Facebook, and I misspelled his name! How in the hell does a mother misspell her own child’s first name?!

All this scares the crapola out of me. And I found new mystery bruises this morning before I took a shower. I know that the chronic fatigue and the bruising are somehow related, but I don’t know exactly how yet.

I won’t get tested again until the first of next month.

Right now I just want to cry.

UPDATE: 1423 CDT on 100509: Not twenty minutes after I posted this, I got another call from the Wellness Center here at school. I’m to keep taking the Cipro, get it refilled, and after I’m done with that round, go back and give another urine sample. The doctor also wants to address my fatigue issues, and still wants to do another blood test (although I’m not clear on whether it’s a month from last week, or a month after I give the urine sample). I just want answers. If I’ve got something serious, I want to know now, not a month or a month and a half from now. So it appears I’m in a holding pattern for the foreseeable future. *sigh*

That’s all from where I sit.



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