Winding down… and gearing up

Today, I finished the last paper for my Mass Media Effects on Society class… and there was much cheering and rejoicing… and relief! All we have left in that class is finals, which I will start studying for this weekend. 

I’m going to register for classes on Monday for Summer and Fall. Since I have to do it with a live person, rather than over the internet (damn zero level classes!), I wanted to make sure that I had everything ready for when I did talk to someone.

This is the part of the semester I can’t stand. I’d rather do it via UCOnnect, but not having algebra in thirty years means that I have to take all those classes over. It wasn’t easy for me in high school, and it’s not now. And for the second semester in a row, I’ve had to drop the math class because I got so far behind with the coursework. During the summer, I’m going to try and test out of the zero level stuff and take a math class that will count for something other than wasted time and effort only to not get those three credits on my transcript (they don’t count towards graduation or my GPA).

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Sometimes, I wonder what it’s like to be a “normal” 46 year old woman, than being a unique individual who confounds her family and friends on a daily basis. Then I get over it and go back to being me.

I tried that so called “normal” life once. It cost me a lot– my self esteem, my well being, my health (to a certain extent), my marriage, my kids (for a while), and my joke of a marriage to a man who wanted things his way or no way. Damn near lost my job because of all this drama, and I damn near lost my mind.

“Normal” is overrated. I’d rather be me, thanks.

It’s not easy being me and living my life. But I’m still here, still alive, and still kicking. So don’t you get in my way if all you’re going to do is try to make me “behave” (i.e. conform).

And sometimes, I wish I had someone to share my unconventional life with. Everyone I’ve tried that with has tried to change me in some way. Some for the better, and some for worse. I’ve been married, so I know what that’s like. I wouldn’t rule marriage out completely, but the man better be exceptional for me to take a second trip down the aisle!

And sometimes, I’m glad I have male friends who kinda sorta get me. No illusions, no drama, no BS.

Though there is one…

(let’s not go there, Stef)

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I’m tired, so I think I’ll wrap this up here. Let’s see what Friday brings.

I’m Stef and this is Where It’s @ !~

–MorelaterZ–

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One thought on “Winding down… and gearing up

  1. The interesting thing is that there a lot of non-“Normal” folks out there of both genders; folks who can accept and understand you as you are becuse they themselves travel outside of the land of Normal.(As a professional psychic, artist and writer, married to a Wiccan, neo-pagan shaman for over 20 years, I speak from a bit of experience…)

    One thing one needs to watch out for when looking for love in such circumstances is knowing the difference between someone trying too change you and the normal accomodations one makes when sharing space. It’s like sitting on a sofa- if you have it all to yourself, you can sprawl out anyway you like; if you’re sharing the sofa with someone, you may have to “scootch over”, but there may be positive factors that make it worthwhile.

    The question is what a partner needs of you is an essential part of your soul or just a random habit…

    for instance, my hubby’s given up liverwurst for me and I’ve given up tuna noodle casserole for him( a question of aromas). I like tuna noodle casserole, but I love him more and our relationship’s worth that price

    Since you have a history with a control freak, this’ll be a distinction that’s important for you

    I hope you find your non-normal love

    Catherine
    Foresight

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