On the fringes of society, or “Grow the f**k up, Stef!”

I never claimed to be like anyone else you know. Because trust me, I’m not!

I tried being quote-unquote normal once. Worst twenty years of my life.

I’ve always done things my way, and not necessarily they way they should be done. I admit that I have made my share of mistakes: bad decisions; trusting the wrong people; getting into situations that took a lot of time, money and heartbreak to get out of.

My sister, to this day, thinks my problem is immaturity and irresponsibilty. I think my problem is that society tried to cage me and I broke free.

I am mature enough to know that I wanted to LIVE life, not just EXIST in it.

I am responsible enough to realize that nothing is going to be handed to me “just because”. I pay my bills, keep my obligations, and act like an adult.  I’m not, unlike some people I know, a 17 year old stuck in a 46 year old body.

And as I mentioned in the last post, this 46 year old body is tired.

I’ve been critized about everything, from my music preferences to my “grandiose” plan to return to school to get a degree that society thinks I should have gotten in my twenties, and not in my forties. I just wasn’t ready for college then (getting married at 19 and having a child less than a year later kinda dictated that).

So pardon me if I lag back here on the fringes of society and do things my way. I tried “their” way and it just doesn’t work for me. Oh, and don’t tell me to “grow the fuck up”. I’m probably more grown up than the people who say shit like that to me. If they could have only walked a day in my shoes… maybe they’d understand me a little better.

Or not.

My way may not have been the “best” way, but it’s mine and I own it.

Can you say that?


I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~

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