You’re wrong. Dead wrong.
Who made you judge and jury regarding the way other people look? Since when did it become your duty in life to point out those who may not look as “perfect” as you?
Do you realize that some people are predisposed to being bigger than the stick thin models that populate magazines? Or that the average size of the typical American woman is 14?
I’ve been fat shamed nearly my entire life. I first heard it in middle school: “Stephanie is fat.” Usually it was said by a select group of girls who hadn’t reached puberty yet, and were generally snobs.
I went thru puberty earlier than my peers. I started wearing a bra in 4th grade (age 10); my first period a year later. Being teased for something I could not help really hurt. My mother advised that I ignore kids who did that, that they were jealous, etc. Mom meant well, but it didn’t help. I always felt the need to defend myself.
As I got older, I didn’t understand why I was gaining weight. All I knew is that I didn’t look like the girls at school. If they said I was fat, then well, as far as they were concerned, I was fat.
I really started gaining weight in high school. Now that I look back on it some 30+ years later, I think it was an unconscious response to a traumatic event that happened when I was 13. After I had children, it only got worse. Soon, I was in my 30’s and was significantly overweight.
It didn’t get better as the years went on. I got divorced, I dated a series of worthless men who used me, and my response was to eat. In my mid to late 40s, I found myself closing in on 350 lbs.
Then, in 2014, when I turned 50, I got sick. I was losing weight without trying before that. Before I knew it, I had been hospitalized three times, diagnosed with liver disease, and had lost a whopping 130 pounds.
And I’m still overweight, according to all the charts. I’m not quite the size I was in high school, but I definitely don’t have the same body I did when I graduated in 1982.
I still hear the whispers of people judging me because of my weight, only now, I don’t care what they think, because I know the truth. Men are the worst. If a man can’t accept me as I am now, then I don’t want him when the rest of this weight comes off.
So, fat shamers, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. You don’t know me, how dare you judge!
I love the person I am now. It took decades for me to do that. And there are people in my life who love me for me, not for what size clothing I wear. As a wise man once told me, “You’re a smart, funny and sensual woman. That’s what I love about you. I don’t give a fuck what size you wear.”
That wise man is, unfortunately, no longer with us, and I miss his wisdom every damn day. He was taken way too soon and way too young.
And Christina Aguilera’s “Beautiful” is playing on the radio as I write this.
I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~