I found out something rather disconcerting on my birthday

My birthday was last week, and among all the happy birthday wishes, I got a pm from an old high school friend.

Apparently, my ex husband had been using this mutual friend to send me messages, and it made her uncomfortable.

All he wanted was to wish me a happy birthday and get some kind of contact info for me, because he didn’t have anything current on me. I suspect he’s been using this mutual friend, and a couple others, to spy on me via Facebook.

I passed along an email address to my friend to give to my ex, and he promptly sent me an email saying he hoped we could be friends.

I wrote back, telling him to stop using our mutual friend as an errand girl, and though he is the father of my children, being “friends” with him is something I don’t really think I want.

I also laid out some ground rules: I didn’t want to hear about his church (which I’m convinced is a cult), his love life, his obsession with Disney movies and mermaids, or anything about wanting to see the kids (who are all grown up with lives of their own).

Not surprisingly, he didn’t write back. I’m kind of glad of that. The less I hear from him, the better. He’s in the past, and he’s going to stay there.

This man is 56 years old, and acts like he’s 12. He’s been married and divorced a second time since our marriage ended (no kids, thankfully!). His second ex wife was born the year I graduated from high school. He doesn’t date women his age because they’re “scary looking”, i.e. old.

He does not know about my health issues, and if I have my way, he’ll never know. I don’t want his false concerns. He did that when my mother was dying, and I told him that he’d been waiting years for her to die (he denied it, but it was true), so quit pretending to be concerned about her.

So, I was more than a little ticked when I heard he was using the previously mentioned mutual friend as an errand girl. I told her to ask him to stop bothering her, and to block him if she had to. My ex has always used people to get what he wants. Maybe he realizes it, maybe not. He has this habit of ingratiating himself upon people, and after while, they get sick of it and stop speaking to him. He still hasn’t gotten the message, and he probably never will get it. If he’s lonely now, it’s his own fault. No one likes a moocher. He actually has to work for his money. Last I heard, he was driving a cab somewhere in New Hampshire where he’s lived for at least a decade.

I’m done with him and I’ve moved on. I just don’t know if I ever can be friends with him. He hasn’t changed one iota. The boys want nothing to do with him, and neither do I.


I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~


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