Ah, yes…

Those pesky missed opportunities.

They’re have been so many of those. 

Look, I’ll be happy if we have lunch. Anything after that is icing on the cake.

It’s not gonna happen.

Update: 5/19/17

It’s not happening. I can say that for certain right now. It won’t happen because the other party doesn’t want it to.

I’ll be very surprised if it does. But it won’t. They don’t want it badly enough. 

My question is, why do I keep doing this to myself? Shouldn’t I just find someone who really wants to be with me? 

What’s wrong with me? Is it my fault, or is it a flaw in his personality? Neither one of us is perfect, but I do wish he’d stop yanking my chain. 

Maybe I’ll have to change locations to find that someone who wants to be with me; who would move heaven and Earth to be with me. I can’t stay in this uncertainty indefinitely​. It’ll drive me insane.

And I like my sanity, #thankyouverymuch.

Self preservation. That’s what it boils down to. Advance or retreat. Maybe now is the time to fold my tent and steal off into the night. 

I have nothing left to lose. 


Chris Cornell 1964-2017

An iconic voice has been silenced, apparently by his own hand. We still have recordings to remember his greatness by.

Rest in power, Chris. Thanks for the gift of your music. 


I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~

This is getting old

On April 24th, yours truly was hospitalized.


For the same damn issue.

This crap is getting old and tiresome. I wish they would figure out what’s going on with the fluid that backs up into the pleural sac around my right lung and fix it. Telling me it will recur, despite the fact I’m taking diuretics, doesn’t cut it any more. I want answers, dammit.

And I had to reschedule my May 1st appointment at Nazih Zudhi because I couldn’t get a hold of anyone to take me up there. The new appointment is June 5th. I hope to God I don’t have to make a return trip to the hospital between now and then. 

That would suck.


I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~