Yes, I know February is almost over…

but it hasn’t been the greatest of birthday months for me this year.

I’m now 55 years old. Double nickels. Eligible to order from the 55+ menu at Denny’s. Still dealing with liver issues, a now healing L4 vertebra, pleural effusion, and most recently, a strained abdominal muscle that I managed to injure in. my. sleep.

My birthday wasn’t that exciting. We did a birthday dinner at my sister’s house, got presents from Marc and Jeff, and got to spend some quality time with my grandson. That was the best part.

This past weekend (February 22-24, 2019), I’ve been a bit of pain and discomfort, due to not only my back, but also the strained ab muscle. Per my orthopedist’s office, my previously prescribed pain meds should be all I need to lessen the pain. If it’s still bothering me next week, to call and make an appointment to be seen.

I also have two other appointments this week at Mercy: the cardiologist on the 26th; and my PCP on the 28th.

I can’t wait for this month to be over! I hope March is much better than this month has been. It can’t get any worse, could it?

Wait! Don’t answer that!

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I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~

Back to the same ole shit…

I was hospitalized last week for pleural effusion.

When I messed up my back, I also messed up my dosing schedule for my regular meds. Six weeks of not taking diuretics equals 2 days in the “health spa”.

They removed about a liter and a half of fluid from around my right lung (which friggin hurts, BTW) and were going to send me home that day! It was done so late in the day that when the decision to send me home was made, I was asleep!

I follow up with my PCP next week.

So much for extending my no hospitalizations into 2019.

*sigh*

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I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~

Edward is finally here!

Edward Landon*

Born January 8, 2019

7 lbs. 6 oz.

21.5 inches long

My 💜 first 💜 grandchild! I can hardly believe it.

Just call me Nonna Stef

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I’m Stef and this is where it’s @!~

*I’m not mentioning their surname per the new parents request.

Edward might be fashionably late. Just like his daddy.

His due date is January 4th (which is tomorrow –if you’re reading this 2 years from now). His mother reports that if she’s not gone into labor by Friday, she’ll be induced on Monday, January 7th.

And she’s not even feeling anything close to going into labor.

With the bad weather we’re having today (ice, snow, sleet, cold temps, slick streets, etc), maybe it’s best he waits a couple extra days.

My son, Scott, was four days past his due date when he finally arrived in May, 1991. This after they told me that they weren’t going to let me go overdue. And he was a big baby on top of it all (nearly 10 lbs.!).

I hope Edward isn’t that big… Sarah is much smaller than I was. But we won’t know till he arrives, be that on his due date, or the 2 days between that and the date they want to induce.

I hope he arrives soon. I can’t wait to meet my grandson!

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I’m (Nonna) Stef, and this is where it’s @ !~

Oh, I messed myself up good… Part 2

(part 1 here)

I had a follow up appointment with an orthopedist on December 19th. After a little confusion as to what my actual appointment time was, I got in to see the doctor relatively soon after I was shown to an exam room.

After blood pressure and temp checks, the doctor came in to see me. He asked me why about how I fell, how bad the pain was (more than childbirth, less than pancreatitis), and took a look at the ridiculously large bruise that took over my left calf. As for the bruising, he told me that was normal in fall cases and that it was nothing I should be overly concerned about. Don’t do any unnecessary walking and rest it as much as possible, and if it did change, to contact the office right away.

Then we looked at the MRI of my back and the x-rays of my wrist from the ER. My wrist wasn’t broken, but he could see how that might have been misread in the ER. He categorized it as more of a mild sprain and cut off the ER cast (mad applause and cheering from inside my head, lol).

As for the MRI of my back, he explained that it could’ve been a whole lot worse, but the vertebra had maintained its height except in the area where it was compressed. He wanted an x-ray to confirm it.

So I’m shuffled off to the X-ray room, where I was asked to lay on a rather hard surface for them to x-ray. That was rather painful. Then the x-ray tech wanted to get another standing up, so I get up off the table in a considerable amount of pain (on a scale of 1-10, this was easily a 25…) and walk over to get the next image.

After that’s done, I go back to the exam room. The doctor comes in and we look at the xray, where he points out that no broken pieces of vertebra are in the spinal canal (the space between the vertebra and the spinal cord), and confirmed what he’d told me earlier about the vertebra maintained its height, and that as it healed, the compressed area would fill in with with new bone growth.

Then he told me it would take up to 3 months for it to heal completely. I guess I’m not traveling anywhere until at least March.

If then…*sigh*

We talked about the pain medication I was prescribed at the ER. The dozen pills I’d gotten were gone as of that morning, so he wrote me a new script for the same stuff, but at double the dosage. I’m to cut them in half so that they last until my next appointment with him on January 9th. I could take a whole one on days the pain was especially bad, but to take half per his instruction. If I needed a refill before my appointment, I had to actually come to the office so that a new prescription could be provided to me. I don’t think that will happen.

I took the script to the pharmacy (because it’s a class 2 narcotic, it can’t simply be called in), where I find out it was no charge on my insurance.

I took the first dose before I went to bed. This stuff is, as I told Jeff later, “AMAAAAAAAAAZING”! I could almost move normally. I also see why I should cut them in half, as it knocked. me. out. But i don’t know if the medicine did it, or that my catching Daniel’s cold did. I slept really well. I almost overslept the next half dose!

Three months til it all heals up…

This will be fun…not!

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I’m Stef, and this is where it’s @ !~

Oh, I messed myself up good…

I broke my back.

Okay, I broke 4th lumbar vertebra.

I had a spectacular fall on December 11th, where my foot got caught up in the cuff of some too big sweat pants, I lost my balance, and fell hard.

I felt my back arch like it’s never arched before, and I knew when I hit the floor that something was broken, but whether it was my back, hip, left leg or a combo of all three, I had no idea.

I cried out for Daniel (thank God he was home!), and he came running out of his room and asked what was wrong. I told him I fell, that it was serious, and to call 911.

The paramedics were there within a minute. Where they found me laying on the floor, in a great deal of pain, and unable to put weight on my left arm.

They somehow maneuvered me to a semi sitting position, then had to put a lift tarp under me to get me on the stretcher (because it was too painful to move anything).

They get me in the ambulance and take me to Integris Edmond’s ER. Where they MRI and x-ray me to the nth degree. The morphine they gave me for the pain didn’t even dent it.

Somehow, they decided that I’d broken a bone in my left wrist under my thumb, so I got an ER cast.

But when they told me I had a compression fracture of my L4 vertebra, I wasn’t really surprised. I’ve had a herniated disc between L4 and L5 for about 20 years (I jumped out of a friend’s truck and landed wrong, which led to sciatica).

The most amazing thing was that they actually let me go home! I got 2 prescriptions- one for a class 2 narcotic (Norco), and a powerful NSAID (Meloxicam). Had I realized about the NSAID when I was in the ER, I would’ve asked for something else. I can’t take NSAIDs due to my liver disease (don’t ER doctors read charts? Integris alone has nearly 5 years worth of stuff on me). I’d actually had it filled before I realized what it was.

The other prescription needed a valid ID, which I didn’t have. I had to go to the DPS Tag Agency to get my license renewed (it had expired in February, and since I wasn’t driving, didn’t get it renewed… until this came up!) I look pretty rough in my photo. I wonder if they’ll change it when I’m feeling up to it?

With new license in hand (thanks to Number3Son and his lovely expectant spouse– less than 2 weeks, y’all!), I get the prescription filled. And while it didn’t make the pain vanish, it did dull it considerably. I could walk without a whole lot of pain for about 6 hours.

I had a follow up appointment on the 19th. More on that in the next post.

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I’m Stef, and this is where it’s @ !~

Hey there! Sorry to have been so scarce

I’ve been busy with doctors appointments, bills, meds, trying find something nice for my soon to be born grandson (7 more weeks!), and just plain being tired.

Some things just either have to wait (groceries? Someone else please do my shopping for me… usually, that falls to one of my sons); or I force myself to do stuff only to really regret it later.

Mostly, I just sleep. I have no real energy to do much else. I’ll cook a quick meal for myself then sack out on the couch.

I don’t even have the energy to piss off Trumpies with something called “the truth”.

And Thanksgiving is Thursday, so there’s the added stress of all that and what it entails.

This has not been a fun year, and I can’t effing wait til it’s over. The only plus is that I’ve managed not to get myself hospitalized at all. Let us hope that holds til 2019… or I’m gonna be a bit pissed off.

I’ve been good, Liver, I swear!

#whyididntreport

I was 13. It was May of 1977. I was a good Catholic girl. My parents would’ve been angry that I went somewhere with a classmate I didn’t know well.

There was someone else there as well, someone I thought I could trust. They were stoned on weed. I was not. The next thing I know, the guy was on top of me, pulling my pants down, and I tried to fight back, he threatened me with a pair of scissors. I struggled to free myself, until I felt him inside me, and him saying triumphantly, “I’m in!”

I tried to scream, but he put his hand over my mouth and told me to enjoy it. I did not enjoy it. I was traumatized.

He threatened to kill me if I ever told. He started rumors about how “easy” I was; classmates, including girls, called me a slut, a whore, a prostitute (and the little rhyme they made up about it). He bragged about what he did to me like he did it every day.

I stayed silent for six months, trying to defend myself against the untruths being told about me. I only told my parents when my sister heard the rumors and told them.

I remember crying in my parents bedroom, telling them about what was done to me. I don’t know what happened after that, but I suspect my parents went to the school to talk to the principal, and nothing was done. I had to listen to those rumors about me for the rest of middle school. It broke up the 8th grade romance I had with a completely different boy after he was ragged about being my boyfriend.

It even followed me to high school, but by that time, I didn’t have to defend myself anymore.

The kid who did this was expelled from school for something completely unrelated to my assault, and I never saw him again, but I’ll never forget his face, his clothing, his total lack of remorse. And I still remember his name.

The other kid in the room at the time of the assault apologized to me in 10th grade for not doing anything to stop what was happening to me. I forgave him. I realized years later that he was just as much a victim as I was. He had other issues he was having trouble dealing with.

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Twenty years later, while living in Virginia, I called the police department in my hometown to report, and was told point blank there was nothing they could do because too much time had gone by. I never really believed that, but didn’t pursue it. I was married, had kids, and a career. I had to protect them. And myself.

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I have no idea what happened to the monster who turned my life upside down 41 years ago. I sincerely hope he’s in jail or dead and rotting in hell. That what he deserves. I still have to live with this for the rest of my days. The Kavanaugh hearings triggered me. I have dealt with these old and horrible memories and feelings for a while. It’s time to rebuild that protective wall back up stronger, sturdier and higher than before. I’m 54 years old, and I’ll never be free of these feelings completely. I just put my head down and keep going. It’s all I have.