Turn.Off.The.Rain…PLEASE!

Okay, which one of you did the rain dance?

We have now gotten more rain here in Oklahoma this month than in any month…ever! And May doesn’t end til Sunday!

That bad boy El Niño is to blame. Does this mean a hot, wet summer? With plagues of crickets? Frogs?

Just shut off the water now, Mom Nature…Sheesh! I really don’t want to swim to the pharmacy, the grocery store and the library this week.

I mean, really…

===

I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~

#whereitsat

…and all the energy of a drugged slug

I demand the immediate return of my get up ‘n’ go. It got up & went and didn’t leave a forwarding address.

This isn’t a good day. I’m going home. Whatever it was I just had to do will just have to wait until tomorrow.

===

I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~

#whereitsat

I have all the grace and coordination of a drunk cow

These meds are driving me batty! If I’m not peeing up a storm or waiting for the Lactulose to take effect, I’m fighting through dizzy spells because of my sub normal blood pressure. I can’t count the number of times I’ve have careened down the hall at the apartment bumping into walls. I swear that if the police saw me walking up 15th this morning, I’d have gotten a ticket for Walking While Impared and a free ride to the city jail.

I’m a hot mess, medically speaking.

At least I wasn’t walking when I ran into my former Biology Lab instructor at WalMart the other day. We talked for a little bit, where he mentioned a girlfriend getting over strep throat (I crossed my fingers as if to say “don’t give it to me, dude”. The LAST thing I need with my current medical condition is strep throat!). He’s still working on that Masters degree, a priority for him to finish (He actually said he was “busy, busy, busy” with that– but not too busy for a girlfriend? Hmmm LOL). When we parted he said, “See ya around”.

Watch, I’ll never see him “around”. I hadn’t seen him in three years before the other day.  I should be happy he remembered me at all. He does teach, after all, and sees (and has seen) a lot of faces in the last 3 years. Maybe mine stuck out in his mind (yeah right).

Good thing he hasn’t seen me trying to negotiate sidewalks on 15th Street.

===

I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~

#whereitsat

GoFundMe

So, on Friday, I found out

…that my doctor had to go home to Egypt due to a family emergency, so I would be seeing a colleague of his

…that my liver is still messed up, and that my condition will be evaluated on a regular basis

…my blood pressure is too low (98/50…yeah, that’s kinda low. Should be something like 120/80), so the doctor cut my blood pressure medication from 40mg to 20mg

…that I will need to be on all of my meds for the foreseeable future

…that I’ll need to watch my weight (that’s a given) even though I’ve lost close to 130lbs

…continue to watch my sodium intake, which is greatly reduced from what I was taking in prior to my October hospital stay

…and to come back in August for an ultrasound, blood work, and a check up.

So, all in all, not as bad as I feared. We’re not taking about putting me on the transplant list quite yet. But I’m still not 100% well. I’m still fatigued, which gets in the way of other stuff (like getting a job); and these dizzy spells, which I hope is just the meds and not me.

So we carry on. Don’t have much choice at this point.

===

gofundme

I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~

#whereitsat

So, my appointment with the liver specialist is Friday

…and since it took four freakin months to get said appointment, you better believe I’m going to have a ton of questions for him.

In the research I’ve been doing on my condition, non alcoholic steatohepatitis or NASH, one thing has become very clear to me: I am one sick Stef. And, a lot of what I’ve been experiencing over the last 15 months (the fluid retention, bloating, the severe and crushing fatigue, the fuzzy headedness, etc.) are classic signs of liver disease. And if it’s as bad as the specialist told me when I was hospitalized in January, I just may need a transplant.

But I hope not.

I hope there’s some way to fix my condition without major league, life altering surgery. But I don’t want to die, either. I’m not done living yet!

So I’m going to fight. It will be the biggest fight of my life by far, and I will need the best non doctor people (i.e. friends & loved ones) in my corner.

If you think I’m scared now (and I am!), check back on Friday. I might be terrified then.

But I hope not.

As much as I want this to be a nightmare that I can wake up from, just waking up tomorrow will suffice for now.

It’s times like this that I wish I had a good man in my life to comfort me when I get scared, to be my cheerleader when my spirits are in the toilet, to make sure I do all the stuff that needs to be done to prepare for all this. But I don’t have one of those. What I have are men who say they care for me, but when push comes to shove, they are unable or unwilling to be there for (______fill-in-the-blank_____) reason(s).

So on Friday at 10am Central Daylight Time (plus or minus as appropriate for your time zone), say a little prayer for me. Because the gal sitting in the waiting room at Nazih Zudhi Transplant Institute (integristransplant.com) in Oklahoma City will really, really need them.

===

GoFundMe

I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~

#whereitsat