[insert frustrated vocalization here]

I hate what my life has become.

It was 4 years ago last month that all this medical drama thrust its way into my life without so much as a warning.

Since then, my life has been on a funhouse ride of doctors, hospital stays, medications and new symptoms popping up all the time.

And I hate all of it! It’s bordering on the corner of ridiculous and insane.

I can’t even do simple things like go to the store, cook a meal, or walk to the mailbox. Forget going to do fun things like concerts, Heard on Hurd (a monthly festival in Edmond where I live), or the state fair.

I demand immediate return of my boring little life!

Yet, I know that life as I knew it prior to 2014 will never be the same.

I hate being virtually homebound, never having enough money to do even the most mundane things like getting a haircut or renewing my drivers license. I don’t like being on Disability and having people silently judging me because I have a SNAP card or need an electric buggy to get around the store.

I’d rather work, thankyouverymuch. But right now, that’s impossible.

I have a five year old Bachelor’s degree in mass communication that I haven’t been able to use because I got sick so soon after getting it.

And I’m a burden on my family. They haven’t specifically said so, but body language tells a different story.

I have way too much time to think these days.

I just want to be normal again, health wise.

Is that too much to ask?


I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~


Ladies and gentlemen, I present….

The sun!

After a cold af, rainy, icy week, the sun has finally decided to make an appearance.

Now if warm temps would like to join in, I know lots of folks who would be deliriously happy.

Me, for one.

The cold weather and I don’t get along much anymore. A nice temperate day is what I long for. Not days in the single digits, nor days that are 100°+.

C’mon spring, hurry your ass up!


I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~

February is almost over…

Was for the most part uneventful. I had a birthday, but no one seemed to care about that. I spent part of it in the ER because I was dizzy, lightheaded and nauseous. The ER doc couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me and told me I to follow up with my primary care provider.

At least she’s trying to figure stuff out and not discounting my symptoms like the ER doctor and the liver specialist. So far, I’ve had blood drawn and made an appointment with a cardiologist. My PCP seems think that it might have have something to do with blood pressure and just wanted to rule out any cardiac issues that an EKG doesn’t pick up.

However, that appointment is the week after I see the liver doc in three weeks.

In other news, I’ve just about had it with Facebook. You express an opinion, and get shit in return. Facebook is devolving into schoolyard fights such as “I’m right and you’re wrong”. I just don’t have time for crap like that. And most of the crap I get from people are from those I’ve known for 30 plus years. I mean come on, we’re in our fifties now and should be above such pettiness.

Subjects cover everything from guns to election meddling, to who likes whom in government, to “fake news” (and Facebook’s slow as response to banning known propaganda sites), to whether the Idiot in Chief colluded with Russia to get elected (his constant lies and protestations of innocence wear this after a while).

So that’s my February. Exciting, no? At least I didn’t end up staying in the hospital. I guess depending what they find at my next PCP appointment and the visit with the liver doc in March, we’ll see what develops.

Good times…haha


I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~

It’s too damn cold!

Last night’s temp…

Cold? Naaaah, really? Whatever gave you that idea?

This morning, it was 8°F, and who knows with the wind chill factored in. Probably at or below zero. Tulsa actually closed their schools today due to the cold. Did OKC or Edmond? Naaaah. 

We’ll be lucky if it reaches the forecasted high of 20°F. 

No snow though. I could use a bit of snow. It would make things a little warmer. We’ve gotten flurries, but nothing that sticks. 

Take heart though. It’ll be 60 by Friday. Doesn’t help me now though. *sigh*


I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~ 

There was no chapel, but they got married anyway!

My son Scott married his Sarah last Monday (11/6/17) evening. The wedding was held in the home of the bride’s parents and was an intimate, understated affair. No big to-do for these two, nope. They’re simply not like that.

They each had two attendants, and Sarah’s sister Rebekah took the majority of the photographs. 

I almost didn’t make it. I was seriously under the weather since my trip to the ER the week before with a case of hepatic encephalopathy (a nasty by product of liver disease). I had no appetite to speak of and felt pretty off kilter. 

But I was NOT going to miss seeing my son get married, so I powered through. 

Congrats to Scott and Sarah! May you have a long, happy, love filled life ahead of you!

Love, Mom