June 26, 2015: Love wins!

Even the Supreme Court of the USA says so.

And those of you who don’t like same sex marriage, DON’T GET ONE!

I’m a straight as they come, and I have always thought if you love someone enough to want marry them and spend the rest of your life with them, you should be allowed to get married, whether you be a straight couple or a same sex one.

I know there are people who will vehemently disagree with me. They’ll say I’m going to hell for my views on this. And you know what? I don’t care what those people think. Because if I’m going to hell, I’m sure I’ll see some of those folks there anyway. You live your life, and believe what you believe, the way that works best for you and yours.

Love is love is love. God commanded that we love our neighbor as ourselves…even if their ideas about who should love whom differ from yours.
And once again ‪#‎lovewins


                                                                         ©2015 their copyright applies


I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~


If you want something from the Government

…you have to go in person, and NOT take the bus because the wait for the next one is long & boring.

All I wanted was to get paperwork to apply for SSI, so since the bus heading towards OKC stops at the Social Security office, I thought I’d just go in, get the form(s), and get back on the bus.


Turns out that there are no forms, that applying for SSI was done by interview either in person or by phone, and that I have to wait for the next agent to talk to me. Thankfully, that was a short wait.

I have a phone interview on July 10th.

I tried doing this by phone in February and there were no phone appointments available. Naively, I thought, they’d call me when one became available.

They didn’t.

Now, I’m stuck here until the bus comes back this way in about an hour.

Oh freakin’ joy!

There’s no wifi here, so I have no idea when this will get posted. If I can avoid coming back here, all the better. It’s a nice big office, much better than the one at Sheppard Mall where I danced the change-your-name-on-your-Social-Security-Card shuffle in 2006.

But I still don’t want to come back here if I don’t need to.

Your Government at work, America. Weeeee!


I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~


Falling flat on my face because….fatigue

The crushing fatigue that is a symptom of this thing called NASH (non alcoholic steatohepatitis aka liver cirrhosis) is getting on my last nerve.

I had more energy when I weighed 130lbs. more than I do now.

That seems to be backwards to me, but it is what it is.

I go back to Nazih Zuhdi on August 6th, and I have even more questions than I did in May.

Mostly about fatigue, vertigo, and what can I take for a headache. I have a 2 page list of questions, with more to come, I’m sure.

I just want to feel like me, and not this alien state I’m in now.

Is that too much for one gal to ask?


I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~


The “Stef can’t sleep” post

Sometimes, it doesn’t pay to watch TV anymore; for example:

Twenty one year old kid walls into a historically significant church, sits there for an hour, then for no rational reason, pulls out a gun and starts blowing people away. Nine of them die.

Yes this is the shooting in South Carolina last week. Black church, Caucasian gunman.

And the most mind blowing thing- he almost didn’t do it because everyone was so nice to him. Whaaaaa…?

This year has been so bizarre and it’s not quite half over. It started with the Charlie Hebdo massacre in Paris, then police all over the USA are shooting unarmed citizens, then journalists come under fire for possibly fabricating stories, a woman in Spokane who headed the local NAACP, who self-“identifies as black” is actually white…and outed by her own (very) white parents. And ISIS beheading people who don’t believe like they do.

And Trump is running for president. Really…and this time he means it. God help us all.

What the actual fuck is going on here?

What kind of world are we leaving for our children and grandchildren?

I shudder to think about it.

Maybe we should be getting back to our roots, remember our upbringing, and do right. Because whatever it is that’s going on now, it’s obviously “not right”.

We’ve all turned into a bunch of whiny brats who tattle on each other so someone will get in trouble. I don’t know about you, but I quit tattling on people  decades ago. You have to do something egregiously wrong (rape, murder, robbery, etc.) for me to call a cop on you. We need to settle petty arguments amongst ourselves, not in a court of law, nor in the court of public opinion.

We need to address issues like rational people, not kill people who didn’t think they needed to defend themselves over petty crap.

Make pot legal, let everyone marry whomever they wish, let everyone practice their faith without fear of being gunned down between “Our Father” and “Amen”. Give everyone free medical care. Why is everyone worshiping the almighty dollar instead of the Almighty? Being a bazillionaire ain’t gonna get you a place in heaven, because, after all, you can’t take your bazillions with you.

End rant.

Just a l’il frustrated here. Not so you’d notice. Much.

I do keep a blog, you know.


I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~


Hot weather will be the death of me yet

I don’t do hot weather well anymore. This has been the case for about 20 years now.

For the last few days, it’s been in the mid-to-high 90s, and that has left me feeling like a limp dish rag. Sweating will be interesting because I’m taking those 2 diuretics. I just can’t replace the lost liquid fast enough, and I get dehydrated. That’s not a good thing anyway, but in my case, there could be problems.

If what they say is true, and this is an El Nino year, maybe we won’t have that many triple digit days. I don’t think I can deal with another 2011 or 2012-like summer. Those were brutal enough, but add in my illness and its attendant “perks”, and I just may be spending the summer indoors as much as possible…in the nice cold air conditioning. For some reason, that’s not bothering me so far…but I’m not taking a summer class in overly cold UCO classrooms either.

Wearing a sweatshirt in 90-100°F weather because the a/c is cranked to the max is not my idea of fun. But that was 3 years ago after all.

Today, it’s supposed to rain. I hope that’s true. It’ll be cooler at any rate.


I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~


Late night musings

I have a theory about men…

Theory #1- men that I seem to be attracted to:

Chances are, if I’m attracted to you, you’re either

A) unavailable (physically, emotionally, mentally), or
B) you’re a first class jerk, or
C) want to control and/or restrict me in some way, or
D) want to get me in bed on the first date (been there, done that), or
E) have nothing in common with me, or
F) too old or too young for me, or
G) a combination of everything after A above

Being sick has given me way too much time to theorize. I know I’m worthy of a good man. So where are they all hiding? Please don’t say, “in church”. I know more so called God fearing men than you could shake a stick at. They’re usually the posers. The real guy comes out later and falls under category C above.

And don’t say in a bar…I don’t drink, and a guy who gets plastered on a regular basis is not the man for me. Chances are he has more problems than I am mentally and emotionally equipped to deal with.

And for the sake of the deity of your choice, don’t even suggest looking online. I deal in the real world, and want to meet someone live and local.

Watch, now that I’ve lost all this weight, they’ll come out of the woodwork.

I’m not going to compete with 20- and 30-something chicks for a guy. I’m 51, I’m looking for a man, not a boy toy. I have no desire to date someone young enough for me to have given birth to.

And I’m not looking for him. When the time is right, he’ll show up. I hope I recognize him when he does.

That’s all for tonight…I just rubbed my eyes and I’m finding it hard to keep them open.

PS: if you just happen to not fall under these categories, congrats! You’re probably my type. Not that I’m looking that hard….


I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~



I was 14, going into my freshman year of high school that fall.

I think there were two popes that year…yeah- John Paul I, who was pope for all of a month before he up and died; and John Paul II, who served from 1978 until he died ten years ago.

It was also the year of the last Triple Crown winner, Affirmed.

Thirty seven years ago.

Until today (6/6/15).

Today, American Pharoh became the 12th member of a very exclusive club. Congratulations to everyone who worked hard for his success!

I hope it’s not another 37 years until the next one. That will be 2052…and, if I live that long, I’ll be 88 years old.

I know, right? I’ll have outlived both of my parents and all of my grandparents by then.

I don’t even want to think that far ahead. I’ll be happy if I wake up tomorrow. Know what I mean?


I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~