An open letter…

Dear Chrissie Hynde:

I take offense to your recent comments about rape, saying that rape victims should take responsibility for what happened to them. Last i checked, rape was a crime, so why in the hell should i take “responsibility” for anothers actions? Rape is not a sex thing, it’s a control thing. It’s a crime perpetrated against someone, against their will. If one cannot consent due to age or handicap, it’s rape. It’s that simple. I simply refuse to take responsibility for a crime that was committed against me. No one asks to be raped.

Now, I’d like to say that I’ve enjoyed your music over the years, and still will. But your recent comments were out of line. If YOU want to take responsibility for your rape, fine. But you don’t have to. Far too many rape victims don’t report the crime because they feel victimized a second time by the police, so the rapist is still out there victimizing others, and will continue to do so until someone says enough!

I’m not asking you to apologize for your comments, because you clearly had a reason to make them in the first place. They may have even been taken out of context. But as they stand, they are reprehensible.

Just my opinion. Neither you nor anyone reading this have to agree with me. I’ve had my say.

Take care.



I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~


Immortalized…my mitts will have it!

Thanks, once again, to my friend Bruce, I will have a copy of Disturbed’s new CD.

Turns out that he buys multiple copies of a CD, then gives them to friends. Disturbed just happens to be a bit more popular than some of his other music choices among his friends. He also gave me a copy of Ben Draiman’s new project, Another Perfect Storm, because he accidentally bought two of them, and I was the one who introduced him to Ben’s music.

I do intend to reimburse Bruce for both CD’s at some point.

Once I get the disc and give it a thorough listening to (i.e. multiple plays on repeat), I’ll have a review of sorts. I’ve heard parts of it online, and I like what I’ve heard so far. Definitely worth waiting 5 years for!

Now, to figure out how to get some $$$ so I can catch them in concert next year. I’ve gone to at least one show for the last three albums (Ten Thousand Fists, Indestructible and Asylum) and I don’t intend to miss one for this record. Of course, my health will have a lot to say about that, unfortunately. I already know that I will probably have to go with someone, especially if I go out of town.

I’ll just have to cross that bridge if and when I come to it.


I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~


Hate is not in your DNA

It’s such a strong word.


One with so many meanings and connotations.

On one hand, there’s this: “I hate Brussel sprouts.”

Or, “I hate when that happens.”

On the other is, “I hate so-and-so because they’re black/white/Hispanic/Middle Eastern/gay/fill-in-the-blank.”

Question is- Who taught you how to hate? You weren’t born hating someone, you were taught.

When young children play together, they don’t see color, ethnicity, religious beliefs, etc. All they see are other children their age. They don’t hate anyone.

Until they are told they can’t play with them anymore. And that is more the parents projecting their fears, prejudices, pre conceived notions on to their children than anything else. This leaves little children confused, and they learn to be afraid because their parents are.

Afraid of what? That their child might form their own opinions independent of their parents? Heaven forbid!

And just who are you that you get to decide whom your child plays or hangs out with, or whom they date, or whom they marry? Just who do you think you are, anyway?

I’ll tell you who you aren’t: God.

And about that…I believe in a God that is all accepting and non judgmental. He loves everyone and knows His children are not perfect. I assure you that He’s not sitting in heaven somewhere saying, well Stephanie can’t be friends with so-n-so because (fill in the blank), or she can’t date so-n-so because he’s not the same color/religion/ethnicity as her… or some other dumb excuse. Yet people who think they know us better than we know ourselves tell us through the media (or at least try to) that there’s a standard, and if you don’t follow you’re not a good American citizen.

Let them say that to my face. Come on, you privileged One Percenters, I fucking dare you to tell me I’m not a “good American” because I think everyone should be treated with respect and courtesy, celebrated for who they are and not persecuted for living their lives as they see fit, that their lives actually matter, and not encouraging them to follow the other sheep to the slaughterhouse. Give me, and everyone else, a little credit for grey matter here. We aren’t as stupid as you make us out to be.

You’re afraid that we’re right, aren’t you? And you want us to be silent and complacent. Don’t you?

Open your mind…your brains aren’t going to fall out.



I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~


I’m in a rut

Something has got to change to break up my routine, or I will slowly go mad!

Then I’d REALLY be Disturbed, huh? (No comments from the Facebook peanut gallery!)

Seriously, though. Something’s gotta give. It’ll be me if it has to, but there must be something good in the works for me somewhere, right?



I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~


I wish I could go to this show *sigh*


Disturbed will tour behind this record, but not until March (dates released today 8/13/15). If I do manage to buy tickets, the closest show to me is in Dallas on March 23rd. But check out the show in Santa Ana, CA, on the 17th…that’s near where I grew up. I’d go that far…if money were no object. The only thing that would keep me away (besides being broke) is if I end up in the hospital again.


The Chicago show  on the 21st will probably be the only show until March.

Nonpoint will be a special guest. I’ve never seen them live, and I really want to.

Maybe next time…

Can’t wait until next Friday (8/21)! I have to get my mitts on the new album somehow!

DISTURBED-Official site



I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~


Adventures in the Integris Healthcare System, part 6?

Another trip to the ER…*sigh*

I hadn’t been feeling so great lately, so when I saw that my eyes looked a little yellow, I freaked out.

But that isn’t what sent me to the ER, though. It was pain in all the places it shouldn’t be in, like upper left and upper right quadrant of my abdomen. Where my spleen and liver are.


So Daniel, Jeff & Scott took me to the Integris facility in Edmond, where they put me in the coldest damn room the the building!

So three blown out veins, one IV, one EKG and a blood test later, the ER doc sends me home. Seems that everything is more or less normal: my blood levels are normal, my liver enzymes are normal, my heart is normal…even my blood pressure was somewhat normal (107/63). And the jaundice…is to be expected in liver patients. It only means my bilirubin is a little higher than normal. We are dealing with a damaged liver here after all.

So, on what would’ve been my mom’s 86th birthday (7/31/15, the day I wrote this), I make yet another trip to the emergency department.



I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~


No sweat

No, really…I’m not sweating, and it’s been really hot here in Oklahoma. We’ll get up to like 97 or so degrees, but the heat index is like 108°F (what it feels like). The weather people on TV call it “air you can wear” because it’s so humid.

I should be sweating bullets, because that’s just how I am. But I’m not, and I’m concerned about it. I’m concerned about heat stroke because my body can’t cool itself. About 20 years ago, I had heat sickness. I actually had to go to the hospital to be checked out. I had the worst headache I’d ever had to that point, and it took weeks for it to go away.

I don’t want to experience that again, so I’ll be on the phone with the doctor toute suite. Watch, this will be a symptom of my liver disease or some bizarre thing.

My life…never a dull moment. Yay me.


I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~