Category Archives: Weird stuff that only happens to me

Getting his tomcat swagger on

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…not!

Pazzo is driving us nuts because, somewhere in our neighborhood, there is a female cat in heat.

The crying and meowing and the plaintive looks out the back door are annoying as all get out, because he wants some.

Every male cat I’ve ever had has been fixed by the time they were Pazzo’s age (about 2 yrs old), so I didn’t go thru this before.

“Ms. Thang”, as I’ve taken to calling her, is out there and Pazzo and every other unaltered male cat can smell her. She may not even be someone’s pet, but some stray hussy looking for a good time.

And we’re trying not to be the owners of the cat who knocks her up.

He’s been very aggressive lately, which is so unlike him. He runs around the house like the law is after him, and those little love nips of his actually hurt!

Pazzo is on lockdown until Ms. Thang goes out of season. We will have a very miserable & disagreeable cat on our hands for a while.

Oh. Joy.

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I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~

I’d rather spend a 100°F day watching someone hit a golf ball into a little hole

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…than think about moving. Again.

We (me, my sister and brother in law) have decided to sell Mom’s house this fall, which means that Daniel, Jeff and I will have to move.

Daniel is okay with it (moving, that is). Jeff is not on board, yet. He’d rather get his own place and not have to live with me or his brother. Problem with that is that he hasn’t been saving his pennies to make that possible.

I don’t particularly want to live with them either, seeing that they’re both well into adulthood, but for now we really don’t have a choice. Unless I get a job locally that pays enough for me to live on my own again. Meanwhile…

The house is just too much upkeep, too expensive to maintain, too much of everything- bitchy neighbors, homeowner association crap, the freakin’ lawn…we finally had to say enough! So now we’re looking at apartments.

Packing up all our stuff, downsizing, purging things we don’t need (which is more for D and J to deal with more than me…all I have to get rid of is my now too big wardrobe)…the whole idea of it makes me ill. But it has to be done.

And if I could afford to buy the damn house, I’d do it. Then fix it up and rent it out. After all, it’s Mom’s house!

What was Chase bank thinking 14 years ago when they gave my 71 year old mother a 30 year mortgage? That she’d live to 100? She didn’t even make it to her 83rd birthday (she passed three weeks shy of it.). It still flabbergasts me that they were able to do that!

Selling the house though will be bittersweet. Daniel and Jeff have lived there half their lives (the last 12  years of Mom’s life and the two years since she died)! They’ve never lived in apartments as adults. It will be a huge transition for them.

And wherever we end up, they have to allow Daniel to keep Pazzo. That’s non negotiable. The cat stays in the picture. Period.

All this is sigh inducing, to say the least. But I’m ready for the change of residence. However temporary it is.

Oh how I hate moving, though!

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I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~

Meanwhile, on the bus…

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This past Wednesday I was on my way home on the bus when this chick starts to get on and laments that one of her flip flops broke.

Then I saw what she was wearing.

Tiny top, short shorts, way too much makeup, hair seriously teased.

Honey, no one is going to care about your broken flip flop. They’re way too busy looking at your chest and your ass to pay your feet any mind.

Ah yes…summer in Edmond, America.

I need to get out of here!

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I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~

I don’t know which is worse…

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Not eating anything after breakfast and feeling like crud, or eating something and having my abdomen swell up like a balloon for hours…and still feeling like crud.

Scott asked me, “Well, Mom, what makes you feel less like crud? You have to eat.”

Neither prospect feels good, I told him.

Have I mentioned that I can’t stand the sight of pizza? Try telling my boys that I need to eat better. What usually happens is that I’ll get all the healthy stuff, and being the only one who eats it. Jeff is getting pudgy, and could stand to slim down. He’s also the one who gets the most exercise because he walks everywhere.

Meanwhile, I’ve lost 77 lbs, most of that since I was hospitalized in February. But this bloating thing is driving me mad!

Time to call the doctor again, I think.

Oh. Joy.

One day soon, I fear, I’ll be making a return trip to the hospital. I’m still bruising like a rotten banana. That feeling like I’m having a heart attack feeling is NOT something I wish to repeat. Ever.

I still need to get that colonoscopy, though.

Gee, ain’t life grand?

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I’m Stef, and this is where it’s @ !~

I feel awful today

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Is this what my life is to become? A series of good days & bad days?

Didn’t sleep well last night, have a headache today that Tylenol can’t touch, my legs are sore for no reason I can think of.

Then all the stuff that’s wrong with me (spleen, intestines, stomach, etc.) gets into the act and adds up to one miserable Stef. I know I can no longer ignore this, but until my insurance kicks in, I can’t pay for it.

Five weeks ago, I was fine. Then I went to the hospital and found out all this stuff wrong with me and now I feel like crap every day.

Ignorance is bliss?

The mind is a very powerful thing.

The losing weight thing I love! I’ve managed to lose 75 lbs. My hips are 15 inches smaller than they were 2 years ago. My clothes literally hang off me. But it was a symptom of a larger problem. A problem I hope to solve before my next birthday, if not sooner.

For me, 50 sucks.

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I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~

Well, I have SOME answers

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It was off to OKC to see the hematologist last Wednesday (2/19/14), and I got some good news: the bone marrow biopsy I had in the hospital was negative, so I don’t have leukemia or lymphoma or any blood-based cancers. However, the “fatty” liver, enlarged spleen and gastrointestinal bleeding is something I can no longer ignore. One or all of those may be responsible for the low blood levels I’ve been experiencing. I had more blood drawn today, and my levels are slowly inching up in the right direction.

I still have to go see the gastroenterologist on March 6th, then back to the hematologist on April 2nd.

Thank you, life, for making 50 not so nifty. It can only get better from here, right?

Right?

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I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~

I don’t do this waiting thing well any more

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And waiting leads to thinking, which leads to overthinking, which leads to panic in this case.

I was discharged from the hospital on Feb. 13th, and have follow up appointments on Feb. 19 and March 6.

It’s the February appointment that concerns me, because that one is with the hematologist. The blood doctor. Because all 3 of my blood levels are seriously low.

That, on its own, scares me enough because it usually leads to more serious illnesses. And I hope that’s not the case, but I’ll be prepared for it anyway.

Why can’t I have my old life back?

I wonder if not having found a radio job out of state yet was/is God’s way of telling me I was going to experience this and to stay close to family for support. We will soon find out.

Oh, and by the way, healthcare.gov is a joke. But more on that later.

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I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~

Another fine mess

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Or maybe, just a hot mess.

Here’s the story:

Yesterday, I was rudely awakened by the WORST pain I’ve ever felt (other than labor pains). I honest to God thought I was having a heart attack. I asked Jeff to call 911. Fortunately for me, the fire station is just outside my neighborhood, so they were there in what seemed like a few seconds.

The details are fuzzy because I was scared out of my mind, but I was brought to the hospital ER and checked over and asked a million questions about my health. I then had blood tests, was hooked up to an EKG machine (where my heart was fine and doing all the expected things), and talked to about 4 doctors.

I was told I had “sludge” in my gall bladder and that my blood count was really low, which led to even more questions.

Eventually, I was admitted and put on a liquid diet. Talked to a blood doctor, a gastroenterologist, and the admitting physician about what they wanted to test me for, and had a lot of blood drawn (I’m surprised I still have blood to test at this point!). I even had two ultrasound tests, one for my gall bladder and one for my spleen.

I’m hooked up to an IV, stuck in bed, and I’m having my blood narrow tested later today (because my red AND white blood cell count is low, and so are my platelets).

So here I sit, waiting.

I don’t do that well anymore.

So, 3 days after my 50th birthday, I’m falling apart. Lucky me!

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I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~

Um, yeah…

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I’m not really sure I like this picture much.

The thing that really bites about losing weight (60 lbs. so far..go me!), is all that loose jiggly skin.

Thing is, I can finally see the weight loss when I’m in my skivvies, but the visual is not all that pleasing to look at. So far, I’ve done this all on my own, but now I think I need an exercise plan to firm up those jiggly bits. I have a couple in mind, but I’m afraid if I start one, I’ll quit the first time I’m too sore to get out of bed. That won’t do me any good. I need an exercise buddy to keep after me, but no one at my house (i.e. my 2 oldest sons) have the patience to 1) put up with me while I do this, and 2) won’t do it with me.

I’m far from done with this though. I still have a long way to go to my goal weight. But I’m sure that I can finally do this. Took me long enough!

I’m sure this would have been a whole lot easier 20 years ago, but at that point in my life, I was just trying to survive. Weight loss was the furthest thing from my mind then.

Better late than never. It’s just the right time, I think.

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I’m Stef and this is where it’s @ !~